This week has been super super super long. But it's also been super super fun. I can't even BEGIN to explain to you what happened this week. I feel like I can write a freaking textbook on the events of NLS.

I won't go into the details though because... well, memories are personal and private. MUAHAHA. Just kidding. Nothing "private" happened. I just don't want to go into all the nitty-gritty details because it'll be too boring for you guys.

I met like a gazillion friends even though they were all younger than me. Whatever. Age shouldn't matter. They all seemed pretty mature... until they started talking about Jona Brothers... and yeah...

My hair has officially become the perfect example for what hair SHOULDN'T look like. I condition LIKE CRAZZZZYYYY and it's still a horrible texture. I'm going to get my hair done soon because I totally deserve being pampered after this week of HELL. I don't know if I should straighten it, but I'm definitely layering it.

I have to wait until NOVEMBER until I can get a job... that's really really really sad. WHERE AM I GOING TO GET MONEY IN THE MEANTIME? I NEED MONEY. "Money can't buy happiness" but it can buy a whole lot of other shit that can make you pretty happy. I need a laptop. I need textbooks-- okay, textbooks don't make me happy, but they are stupid necessities. I need CLOTHES. OH MY GOSHHH, I HAVEN'T GONE SHOPPING IN AGES.

I admit... I'm a stalker. And a REALLY REALLY bad one too. Well, bad in the sense that I can't stop myself from breaking the habit. And good in the sense that I'm a REALLY REALLY good stalker. I should work for the FBI or something. It's kind of frustrating because I know what I'm doing is sort of wrong... and an invasion of his/her (why do I even bother saying his/her when clearly... it's...) privacy. But hey, it's all on the Internet. It's not my fault I can piece bits and pieces of information together. Right? It's not like I follow him/her home and spy through their window... So... I'm all good, right? I really have to break this habit.

I went through facebook... and now I want a new identity. It's like... through the years, people have just added me and I've just added people and I don't really pay attention to who they REALLY are. Filtering this "friends" list is going to take forever. I still have yet to filter my msn list too.

I still haven't paid my tuition fees yet. To be honest, I don't know how to? I guess I'll call the school tomorrow or something? Oh wait... is the school opened on Saturdays? SHIT.

Anyways, I can feel it already. Everyone is drifting apart. Everyone is moving ahead in their own direction... and not everyone is looking back. Absent-mindly, I've also taken charge of my own life and moved on without my friends. At first, I didn't know how to face it. I found it so hard to just "move on", to just let things "fall apart the way they should". I love my friends. They've been with my every step of the way. They play such a huge role in my life, without them, I'd have no stress, no pressure, and no fun. At all. I hate changes. I hate the transition of letting go something in the POSSIBILITY of getting something else. Why can't we just stick with what we have and just live? I guess I realized that if that were suppose to happen, we'd never progress in life. We just be stuck in that one spot forever. The story would never have an ending. The movie would be the boringest (is that a word?) one yet.

It's going to be hard fitting in again, meeting new people, finding the right "slot" to slide into. No one said it's going to be easy and no one said it's going to be worth it, they just said you're going to get through it. That's life.

So I guess, I'm ready to close this storybook and move onto another one. I've finished this movie and I'll be directing the sequel soon. Although you guys won't be starring in it, I promise you guys will still be in the credits because if it weren't for you guys, I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm not going to name names because you guys know who you are. I love you guys.
---
Denial is not just a river, it's a freaking ocean.

Finally, something to do. A challenge!

Today was a pretty hardcore day. A lot swimming and rescuing, but I must admit, I had A LOT of fun. Better than rotting at home all day...

The class was really fun. The teacher told all these stupid jokes and stuff. I can't possibly remember all of them, but at the moment, they were really funny. We also played this "LAVA" game... where the point was for the class to make a fool of themselves and he gets to watch us from the side and laugh his ass off at us. WHAT KIND OF TEACHER DOES THAT? He claimed it was for "breaking the ice." PFFT, my ass. HAHA, he's cool though. He's the type of teacher you can joke with and stuff.

When he saw me he was like, "Did I teach you before? You look familiar." SURE.

All the kids in the class are 16 and 17. I'm the oldest. I FEEL SO OLD. Some kid did IB at St.Roberts but she dropped it now and I'm like, "THAT'S THE SMARTEST DECISION YOU'VE EVER MADE IN YOUR LIFEEEEEEEEE!"

There's this really cute guy name Matt in our class. He's only 16 though... what the Hell... what a bummer... WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! He goes to St.Teresa... does that mean he's religious? Because forcing me down the huge ass yellow slide at Bayview didn't seem like a really religious thing to do.

I met a couple of other girls... who were also younger than me, but they were fun to talk to. The only thing I found weird was that they talked about Miley Cyrus and the Jona Brothers and I was like DOT DOT DOT.

There was also this really weird girl name Michelle. I'll describe to you what she looks like. She's pretty pale and has blond hair. She's got one of those really typical white faces where she looks really innocent and sweet, sort of like a "next-door" and "down-to-earth" type of girl. You know... like a priest's daughter. Anyways, she's really really nice. But she also seems like the type that is capable of murdering someone. I can't explain it. Like... you know how some people just aren't capable of murdering someone no matter how bitchy they are. Well, she's the type that looks like she can be so psychotic... like... a volcano just waiting to erupt. LMAO. She sort of scares me, so I try to stay away from her... even though she's really really really nice.

I also met up with Jessica again, who I took Bronze Med with before. =)

Memorable Conversations:

Michelle: What does PIA stand for?
Instructor: Errrm... I don't really know... *flips through random pages of textbook*
Stephanie: Pia is the last name of the man who invented the Pia carry. He analyzed drowning victims and noticed that once their shoulders were out of the water, they would immediately calm down. So he came up with the technique and named it after himself.
Matt: Thanks... for the facts.
Instructor: Yeah, that sounds about right. I was going to say that.

Instructor: If there's fire in the pool in the winter time, don't execute the patrons out the building. There's no point in saving them from a fire and then having them all die from hypothermia.

Instructor: See this sauna? You can only let people 16 years of age or older in it. If you see someone younger in there, don't ask for their ID. No one carried their birth certificate around them in the pool.
Stephanie: So what do you do?
Instructor: There's a trick I like to do.
Whole class: Trick? What trick? Tell us!!!
Instructor: I go in and I tell them: "This sauna is only for people ages 15 and older, how old are you?" And usually they'll say 15. Then you go, "HAHA! It's for 16 years of age or older. You're too young! I tricked you!"
Whole class: ...

Instructor: Did I teach you before?
Matt: I think you substituted in one of my courses.
Instructor: And I taught you too, right?
Tony: Um... I think so.
Instructor: What class did I teach you in?
Christina: I don't... remember... Bronze something?
Stephanie: You like taught everyone!
Instructor: Yeah... that's a sign that it's about time to quit.

Instructor: In all my years of teaching, I've only failed two students. And those two were complete goofballs in the ASSISTANT INSTRUCTORS course. So if you fail my course, that just proves how much you really suck.

Stephanie: In your opinion, do you think I'll pass?
Instructor: If you do everything, I'll pass you. There's no middle ground, either you do it or you don't.
Stephanie: I see.
Instructor: But in my opinion, I don't see you passing.
Stephanie: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Instructor: GO DOWN THE SLIDE!
Stephanie: *stands at the top of the slide* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Instructor: GO DOWN THE SLIDE OR I'LL FAIL YOU!
Stephanie: YOU CAN'T DO THAT! It's not a requirement in NLS!
Instructor: It's a requirement in MY course.
Stephanie: NOOOOOOOOOO.
Instructor: You're at the top, I've locked the gate down here. So there's two way out: One: You jump off these stairs that are 10 feet high; Two: You go down the slide. Take your pick.

... is going nuts on me.

I don't know why it isn't working properly?! So now I'm using Firefox, but it's so slow for some reason...

Whatever.

I'm tired of this layout. I want to change it again.

Tomorrow is the beginning of HELL. I'll blog more later tonight.

I went downtown with my parents today to see the apartment that they were interested in for me. They didn't want me to get a place of my own but they think renting a place downtown isn't a bad idea.

So they saw in the newspaper $600/month, 15 minutes walking distance from U of T, communal kitchen, and a private washroom.

That sounded like a pretty good deal... until I saw the place. It was one of those places where it's like above some shop, and you have to go up the stairs. Okay, the place isn't THAT bad. Like, it's pretty small but I think I can live with it. The bedroom is the size of my washroom right now. And the washroom is like the size of our cold room in the basement. The washroom... one word: DISGUSTING. The sink, toilet and shower is like... all on one platform. Like... there isn't a separation. It's just like a 2feet by 2 feet room with a sink, toilet and hose all in one place. When I saw it, I just thought, YOU GOT TO BE FREAKING SHITTING ME!?!

My dad was all like, "Oh, this isn't bad. Nice place. Nice place."
Dad, what the fuck have you been smoking?

The washroom didn't even like... fit me. If I wanted to shower, I'd have to bend down because I'm too tall. WHAT THE HELL?! The anthropological measurements are ALL WRONGGGGG.

Then the guy brought us up another level to show us a room for $375/month. If a $600/month room is the size of my washroom, then a $375/month room would probably be the size of like... a public washroom stall.

I WAS WRONG.

It was the size of TWO washroom stalls. He told us how all these people lived in his place and how they all became successful people and I'm like, "This place is probably their motivation to become successful so they can like escape this garbage room."

The stairs up to that room squeaked like a dying cat. Then he told us how we can go up onto the roof and enjoy the fresh air and sunlight. I walked up there and nearly fell off the roof. There was NO WAY anyone would go up there to "enjoy" themselves. Maybe it's fitted for delusional people like him, but not any sane person.

Another problem: The floor moves. THE FLOOR MOVES!!!!! 18 years of living, all the rooms I've ever stepped on had STURDY floors.

Sorry. I'm not trying to belittle your place. Okay, I am. I'm just not used to living in those places. When I told my dad, he's all like, "... so much for being independent."
Being independent doesn't mean shoving yourself into closet and living with 15 different species of insects.

Then I told my dad how I had to run from BLOOR to COLLEGE in 10 minutes between classes. And he told me to "take the bus". And when I told him that there weren't any, he gave me one of those are-you-stupid looks and said, "U of T isn't going to make you run like that." PFFFT. Dad, U of T doesn't give a shit about how you get to your classes. I personally called TTC and the subway and YRT for all the routes downtown and NONE of them run on St.George. And honestly, even if they DID have buses, you'd have to wait for them, they don't always come "on the dot". GEEEZ.

I tried to explain to him how difficult my Wednesdays were going to be and he was all like, "No one asked you to be a university student." Okay, being a university student doesn't mean BECOMING AN OLYMPIC TRACK RUNNER!!!!!

*SIGH* Whatever. I'm sort of pissed off. Then all my other friends were all like, "I don't see why you squished all your classes in 3 days."
It's because I don't want to spend 4 hours busing downtown on weekdays. I want to have time at home to do my homework too and possibly get a job.

It's like the entire world can't see where I'm coming from.

There's nothing to blog about.

Question: Although he still likes the girl, he decides to leave. What do you think of his decision? Note: The question is referring to the guy in the single's MV.
JS: I can sympathize with the main character. If it were me, when thinking of what should I do, I think I wouldn’t be able to bear seeing the woman I really love marrying someone else, receiving blessings from everyone else. However, I can understand how he wishes for her happiness. Although it’s painful, but it’s really...
CM: If it were me, I might just go crazy/have a violent reaction during the wedding. *laughs* I might scream ‘This wedding can’t go on---!!!’ However, if it really happened to me, I don’t think I can do it.
YH: If it were me, I think I would try to have a confirmation of the girl’s feelings in the end. If the girl still loves me, I would go to the wedding and sincerely congratulate her. However, if she loves the other person, I would congratulate her from a far distance and protect her.
[I don't get YH's answer?!]
CM: As expected, if it were me, I wouldn’t be able to go. I wouldn’t be able to stand it, seeing her in her wedding dress...
YH: Go smile and congratulate her, Changmin
CM: That’s impossible!
JJ: If it were me, I wouldn’t be able to say anything until the very end, I think I can only protect her. I wouldn’t be able to sleep or eat... Obviously I wouldn’t go to the wedding too. I think I might just wear a helmet or something so she wouldn’t recognize me because I want to know what kind of person she’s marrying. *bitter laugh* As expected, I won’t attend the wedding ceremony. It’s too painful.
YC: I think I’ll go to the wedding ceremony. Although she’s marrying someone else, but if I don’t congratulate her, I think the girl might feel sorry/guilty. Although it’s painful, but I would still smile, clap and say ‘Congratulations!’.
CM: I can’t do that.
JS: It’s impossible for me too.

I really want to permanently straighten my hair.

My parents view:
Dad: It's already straight.
Me: That's because I already straightened it.
Dad: So you've solved the problem. Why do you need to permanently straighten it?
Me: Because I don't want to straighten my hair everyday, it's such a hassle.
Dad: How much does it cost?
Me: Depends, it can range from 100 to 200 bucks.
Dad: *eyes widen* My high blood pressure pills only cost 40 bucks. That means your hair will be more expensive than my blood.
Me: *grumbles*

Meh, I don't know. I heard that perms are not good for your hair.

Hair irons and hot combs can only temporarily modify hair texture, whereas relaxers and the other methods permanently alter the structure of the hair, although new hair growth is not affected. The drug interferon alpha has been shown to modify hair follicles causing permanent change in a person's hair texture.

That doesn't sound too good. The texture of my hair sucks already.
---
I want to get a place downtown.

What do my parents think:
Me: Mom, Dad. Spadina and Bloor, built in 2007, 1 bedroom, 1 living room, 1 bathroom, 7th floor, $300 000. I want it.
Dad: Sounds pretty good.
Mom: Yeah, that's not a bad deal. What are the facilities?
Me: Exercise room? TV room? And guest room...
Dad: And parking space?
Me: What parking space?
Dad: For your car? How many parking spaces do they give you?
Me: Don't they always give you at least one?
Dad: What does it say?
Me: *scans the web page* Um... it says 0 for parking space.
Dad: So where are you going to park your car?
Me: DAMN IT.
---
I'm still debating, I don't know if I want a DELL or HP laptop, any ideas?

Me: I want a DELL laptop.
Dad: My friends say that DELL laptops suck. HP ones are the best.
Me: No, all the schools use DELL.
Dad: It's because the board of education can't afford quality computers for schools.
Me: NOOOO. I read online that DELL provides better service than HP too.
Dad: DELL provides better service because they have to fix all their crappy computers. HP computers are efficient and durable, they don't need to provide any service.
Me: *SIGH*
---
Waking up in the mornings...

Mom: STEPHANIE! GET UP IT'S 11 already!
Me: *looks at alarm clock* What are you talking about? It's only 9.
Mom: Yes, but by the time you ACTUALLY get up, it'll be 12.
Me: So what's the point of telling me now? Just let me sleep.
Mom: If I don't start telling you now, you'll get up at 2.
Me: ARGHHHH.
---
This happened a while ago, but I showed my mom how I could raise my left eyebrow.

Our conversation:
Mom: Can you raise your right eyebrow too?
Me: No, just my left one. I don't know why...
Mom: No wonder why your left eyebrow looks better.
Me: What?
Mom: You exercise your left eyebrow, so it's probably in better shape.
Me: ... WHERE THE HELL DID YOU LEARN THAT FROM?!

Then I asked my mom if she could raise her eyebrows. And she attempted to do it, but all she did was like twitched her cheek. She had such a painful expression on her face. I collapsed in laughter but she didn't find it funny.
---
A conversation I had with a friend a long time ago:

Me: OHHHH, you printed the lyrics to the song! We can sing along now.
Her: Oh my God, it took me forever to download it.
Me: Really? The song is only like 5MB, shouldn't take THAT long to download it.
Her: No, I meant the lyrics.
Me: ...you DOWNLOAD lyrics?
---
Trying to synchronize classes with a friend:

Sabrina: When do you have your Chemistry lectures?
Me: Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Sabrina: What about Bio and Chem labs?
Me: All on Wednesday.
Sabrina: What about Math tutorial?
Me: Friday.
Sabrina: Math tutorial?
Me: Friday
Sabrina: No, I meant Chemistry tutorial.
Me: Friday.
Sabrina: What about Math tutorial?
Me: FRIDAY!!!
Sabrina: What about Chemistry lecture?
Me: MONDAY, WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY!
Sabrina: What about Math tutorial?
Me: ...Friday.
Sabrina: What about Tuesday and Thursday?
Me: I don't have classes on those days.
Sabrina: WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO! I was trying to see what classes I had with you on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Me: ... yo, don't talk to me. Go away.
---
It's been a long day. Time to sleep.

I GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE!

Julie, Sherry and I went out yesterday. First I went to Julie's to pick up Julie and Sherry. But I had to drop by some grocery store to pick up some stuff first before we decided where to go. After 2 minutes of brainstorming, we decided to go to the ONE-AND-ONLY H-MART. HAHA. We always go there. Not that I had a problem with it. Hell, I'd go anywhere as long as it's not home.

I had sushi. I didn't want a big meal since I already ate dinner. Then I wanted to go to Demetre's for dessert. My slice of chocolate cake was huge. I finished most of it, but I couldn't completely wipe the plate clean.

I still can't believe Sherry would consider sex with her boyfriend after 4 months of dating. That's still... shocking to me. But you know, everyone moves at a different pace.

After I drove Sherry home, I drove Julie back to her house and we both saw Sherry's car parked outside Julie's home and we laughed our asses off. It was hilarious. Okay, it's not so funny now, but you should've seen Julie, she just like collasped in my car because she was laughing so hard.

JULIE GOT ME DBSK STUFF FROM CHINA!!! MAX. IS. SO. HOT. H.O.T. She also got me this agenda thingy... I'm sure I'll use it to write all my homework in it. And because it's DBSK, I'll work really really really hard to get all the work done.

I'm setting new goals for myself. I really really really want a place downtown. Like my OWN place. At first, my parents were going to get me a place downtown, but now, I sort of want to get it myself. I'll probably put it under my parent's name for OSAP reasons because... you know... if I can own an apartment, they'll probably consider it as my asset. I don't know, best thing is have nothing, owe nothing, and earn nothing when it comes to OSAP. I really want my own place. The place downtown is like PERFECT. It's so gorgeous and the location is like perfect. But my mom is REALLY picky when it comes to houses and buildings. She's the type of person that would say something like, "Oh, we can't get this place because the kitchen is facing north, that's bad luck. Or she'll say something like, "The door isn't big enough for money to come in. That's not good." HAVE YOU MET SOMEONE SO SUPERSTITIOUS BEFORE?!

I don't really believe in that stuff. As long as no one died in the building, anywhere near the building, you know... ghosts and stuff. I'm like fine with it. That's the only thing I'm scared of. And I don't want to live close to the floor's garbage collector. I also don't want my bedroom facing west. Since the sun rises in the east, I want my bedroom to face east so I can get sunlight in the morning. That's really all I want to get checked out. I'll ask about mortgage and stuff...

I hope everything works out. If I can get a place downtown, that's all the better for crashers and sleepers.

First thing's first: I FINISHED MY PIANO EXAM!!!

Did I pass? I don't know. The examiner wrote A LOT. All she did was write write write. HMM, I wonder if she looked up to see my pianist movements. You know... when you shake your head and bounce your arms up and down to look like you're REALLY into the music. Yeah, I've learned to do that very well.

Second of all: My mom *fill in the blank*

I'm so frustrated with my mom. She's the type of person that would beat the living crap out of you then ask you for ice cream. She's so mean. OH MY GOSH. My mom doesn't have a single "reason" bone in her body. Every time I ask her WHY? All she'll say is, "because I said so". CLEARLY, my mother is not much of an essay writer. If she were to write an essay as to why she won't let me have fun this summer, this is what it would look like:

Intro: Stephanie is not allowed to go out this summer.
Thesis: Stephanie is not allowed to go out this summer.
Paragraph 1: Because I said so.
Paragraph 2: Because I said so.
Paragraph 3. Because I said so.
Conclusion: Stephanie is not allowed to go out this summer because I said so.

A+ MOM.

Argh.

I'm bored to my freaking deathbed.

So today Sherry, Julie and I went to SilverCity to watch the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. One word: HARDCORE. There were even reporters/cameramen there from CityTV or something. All these Chinese (I'm assuming Chinese) people carried the China flag and waved them everywhere. The insane Chinese people carried the flag and ran around the movie theatre like a maniac. And the complete delusional Chinese people made clothing out of the flag. O___o. Sorry, I don't understand.

I felt like I was in Chinatown except the area shrunk like 2000 times and the population increased like 2000 times. It was CROWDED! I heard the REAL CHINA is like even more crowded than that, so I don't think I can handle China. My body might shred to pieces from trying to squeeze through everyone.

I woke up at 3AM. That's insane. I told myself that if the damn opening ceremony wasn't entertaining I would smack Sherry for coming up with such a lousy idea. HAHA. BUT it was worth the watch. The beginning was SPECTACULAR. I think 10 minutes after it started, I was still trying to wrap my brain around how smart and talented Chinese people are. LOL! I was so amazed by the performance. In my head I was like, "YO MAN! THAT'S CHINESE! CHINESE PRIDE, YO!" HAHA. HOWEVER, when they started showing the atheletes from all the countries, my brain totally went into shut down mode. I don't even understand why they would put that near the BEGINNING of the opening ceremony. They should be that at the end. LOL.

I'm glad I met up with Sherry and Julie. I haven't seen them in ages. It's nice to catch up and throw up. After the SilverCity thing we went to GO FOR TEA and ate. That's like all we ever do. When we go shopping, we spend about 70% of the time at the mall's foodcourt. When we go study, we spend 60% of our time on a lunch break. When we have nothing else better to do and we just want to hang out, 80% of the time we'll go to a restaurant. HAHA. CLEARLY, we all have fast metabolism because none of us are like OVERWEIGHT.

I came home and practiced the piano. I'm so lifeless at home. I can't wait until Monday.

Random Note: I've gotten into a very bad habit of downloading an ENTIRE album of songs instead of downloading JUST the song I want. So I have a shitload of songs that I haven't even heard... What a weird habit to develop. It came from nowhere...

So I've basically died the past few days. I've been so busy practicing the piano. I'm so scared. I really really want to pass. I HAVE to pass it for my own sanity's sake. I feel like there's so much at stake.

Anyways, I can't blog for long. I have to get my ass to the piano again.

I'm really glad I'm going to see the opening ceremonies tomorrow with Sherry and Julie, even though it's at some ungodly hour. FIVE AM!?!?!

If you guys are reading this, I'd like to tell you guys that I can't make it to the sleepover. However, I WILL be at Julie's house around 5-ish. "Ish" as in earlier because we all "know" how "crowded" it will get there. I promise I won't be late. LOL. I won't oversleep. OH MY GOSHHHH!!! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GUYS IN AGES?! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU GUYS!!!!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU GUYS!!! And you guys probably have a lot of China stories to share too.

*squeals* Okay, not squeals... but you know what I mean.

Okay, nothing is as much Hell as IB exam preparation month. BUT PIANO OVER THE SUMMER?! Yo man, every summer I'm always occupied with piano... okay fine, every summer since I STARTED piano. WHY DID I WANT TO LEARN TO PLAY THE PIANO?

See, unlike OTHER Asian parents who force their kids into playing the piano, I actually WANTED to learn. So I -begged- my mother for piano lessons. Soon enough, we see in the flyer a YAMAHA piano school, which was well-recommended AND had a good price. I took piano lessons for like a month and I HATED it. I hated practicing the piano to learn stupid songs like Hot Cross Bun. THEN I begged my mother to TAKE ME OUT of the piano lessons. But she was all like, "No, no, you've got to finish what you start." OKAY. This "finishing" process has taken up like 6 years of my life. SIX YEARS?! I'm actually quite impress with myself though, I mean, there are a grade total of 12 grades (including ARCT performers and ARCT teachers) in the Royal Conservatory of Music. In a matter of SIX years, I've completed 10 grades. Not bad. As well, incorporated with the practical junk, I've always got to take all the damn history of music and how to ANALYZE and WRITE music courses. There are a grade total of 12 music theory courses, and I took 9 in 6 years.

No, I'm not taking all these music courses so quickly because I am a "eager" and ambitious musically-inclined student. It's because I am DYING to finish all these courses so I can move on with my life.

I can't imagine myself being a piano teacher or any kind of performer. I admire other people playing the piano, but I don't admire myself when I play the piano. No matter how well I play a song during a performance or exam, all I remember is the fucking Hell that I had to go through to get the song down to a T. Damn it.

I hate scales. I hate arpeggios. I HATE technical requirements. They are the WORST part of every piano exam. My life sucks right now. I can't wait until August 11th is over.

I don't need to do well since I'm not preparing this exam with any psychotic over-achieving piano teacher. But I do need a pass if I don't ever want to touch the piano ever again. I pray for a passing grade. JUST a pass will do. That's all I ask for.