As Julie was telling me the other day about how she lost Vincent's IB exam results PIN, I was secretly wondering where I placed mine... I can't find it. GOD I CAN'T FIND IT! I don't know where the fucking hell I put it. I feel so incompetent right now. I spent a month doing absolutely nothing and somehow I couldn't even keep my frigging PIN in sight. I'm afraid of asking my parents if they've seen it because every time I do that, they assume that I've lost it right away and they freak out and start bickering at me. Then my head feels like it's about to explode and I'll start getting mad and frustrated and then I give up... completely. HAHA. Yeah, maybe I threw it out. But you just don't throw out stuff like that... I mean, no matter what I was smoking I couldn't have possibly threw out my PIN. Maybe my mom threw it out while she was cleaning, but then, if I tell her that she'll probably have a fit as to why it was randomly sitting on MY desk instead of a folder somewhere. ARGH. WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?! And you know what the retarded thing is, I have my PIN from last year. PFFFFT. Why did I lose the new one but not the old one? On the old one, it says, "For security reasons, it's impossible to reissue a pin if lost." Geez, great security. WHY DIDN'T I COPY THE DAMN PIN DOWN INTO MY EVERYTHING BOOK. See, this is the problem with being neat and organized, when you're neat and organized, you have everything where it's suppose to be. So when you lose something and you check those places, and it's not there, you know it's pretty much gone. I'm trying to think where else it could be...

AT THE SAME TIME...

I'm daydreaming about HAYAMI MOKOMICHI. He's so hot. HOW CAN ANYONE IN THIS WORLD BE SO HOT? He's only 6 years older than me. HAHA. It could work... except for the language barrier. I wonder if he can speak English? He's also the guy from ABSOLUTE BOYFRIEND (Zettai Kareshi). I've only watched up episode 9, I have only 2 more episodes until I finish the drama. I'll give a review of it later once I know the ending. The ending is like the most important part of movie to me. If the ending is bad, it could kill the entire movie. I remember watching this Chinese movie called ASTONISHING and the ending was like a girl waking up from a dream from another dream from another dream. And I was just like, "OKAY?! WHAT WAS THE GIRL SMOKING THE NIGHT BEFORE?"

That's Hayami Mokomichi. I've always thought that Hayami was a girl's name but you know, I could be wrong. He's so so so hot. ACK. He's so like masculine compared to other Japanese celebrities. A lot of Japanese male celebrities are so feminine that it sort of bothers me because they look more... feminine... than I do. He's so strong. OH MY GOSH, in the drama, there's this crazy scene where he exercises and he sprays "sweat" on him because you know... robots can't sweat. HAHA. I think everything about him is so hot.

Okay, I shall stop spazzing about him. I have to go to U of T and like pick courses and get my Tcard. Yeah... my Tcard. I want a haircut but I don't know what I do with it. I want bangs but my last experience tells me it's a bad idea. Okay, I shall go watch the drama now and contemplate whether or not I should take summer school because seriously, I don't want to take summer school.

I don't know why but I don't feel sad. I remember when I graduated elementary school and I nearly cried until my eyes were sore. Now that I've graduated highschool, I'm just sort of "whatever" about it. Maybe I'm just having too much fun at the moment to care. Teehee. ^___^

I've finally graduated highschool, and though without flying colours, I still managed to scrape through. That's good enough for me. Tonight, I didn't really see anyone... everyone just sort of left... I don't know, seriously the awards/graduation ceremony took way too long. Maybe it just felt really long because my stupid heels were killing me. Yeah, I wasn't made for heels.

I'm watching ABSOLUTE BOYFRIEND right now, it's a japanese drama. It's so sad. It's basically about this robot that was made for the girl to be her "ideal boyfriend" and she doesn't really like it even though it's programmed to do all the things she likes. She falls in love with this like... other random guy. Personally, I think the robot is so hot. If I had to pick, I'd pick the robot. HAHA. I mean, no one else knows it's a robot. Yeah... the robot isn't like... grey/metal-looking, it actually looks like a human being, except inside it's got robot parts. But the point is, I'd pick the robot. I feel so sorry for the robot because the girl thinks the robot doesn't have feelings but it does!!! Besides, I think the robot is hotter than the other guy anyways. Bonus points right there. ANDDDD the robot is like super strong and "sexy". HAHA. SOMEONE GIVE ME A ROBOT BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW!!! <3

1. practice the piano tomorrow
2. SLEEP
3. burn a new CD
4. SLEEEEP
5. figure out OSAP
6. SLEEEEEEEEP

HMM... I can't think of anything else I have to do right now.

Today I went to Cedric's birthday party at 5 =). OH, before Cedric's party, Julie and I dropped by Sherry Z's house to give her her birthday gift. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SHERRY~ I had to follow Julie's car because I didn't know where Sherry's house was and I didn't know where Cedric's house was... Yeah, that was an interesting pursuit.

I didn't drink because I had to drive home. Well, I had 5 sips off Fred's beer, but that doesn't count as drinking. When I had to drive Alex home, I was so afraid that the 5 sips but like... come into effect. But no, I'm perfectly fine. He asked me if I had any to drink and I said no, and he believed me, so that means... I was safe. HAHA. I'll upload pictures and videos later.

I wanted to play guitar hero but I didn't stay long enough to actually play it =(. Poor me. I still need a dress for commencement... *sigh* I'm so sick of shopping right now. Maybe I'll go tomorrow or something. Monday? Tuesday is commencement. I can go Tuesday morning. HAHA. Talk about procrastination. I guess I didn't master the skill of time management after 4 years of IB afterall.

So I'm at school right now, at this very moment, rotting. Yeah, why did I come to school to rot? Oh right, DECA. Stupid DECA. Okay, I shouldn't be saying that, but I know it's true. I finally got the ENTIRE DECA transaction sheet from Crosby and seriously, my numbers were sooo off. Okay, not so off, that's only because Mr.Kulcsar never told me he spent like 300 bucks on training materials. Doesn't anyone feel the need to tell the treasurer that?

Anyways, that's the good news. Bad news, I lost Sherry's present... I have no idea where it is. I was carrying it into the school... and by the time I got to the library, it wasn't in my hands anymore. But people are writing exams right now and I can't be in the halls. Besides, Israel is probably patrolling the halls, one wrong move and I'll be in the office again. Damn him. Most teachers love me. Don't they? What the hell is wrong with him? And Rozen?! No, see, at least Rozen "pretends" that he likes me, but secretly he hates my guts. Oh, we're all such wonderful actors. He should get an award for his awesome fake acting skills. At least he's honest when it comes to teaching. Okay, why am I talking about teachers? Ew.

I've decided to change my mind on summer school. I don't really want to be in a class full of grade 11s. I don't know. I'll "think" about it. But I don't really want to study on my own because I know that's not going to happen. I don't have the discipline for that. Eh... I'll manage.

I still have yet to return Mark's blue book... but none of the science teachers are here. Should I just give it into the office? Like... I don't know.

Shopping? HMMM. Sounds good. I'll pay Joey back her money if I see her, if I don't, then I guess I should use the money to shop. HAHAHA. No seriously, I need a job. Why do I spend so much money?!?! Thing is, I think I spend all my money on the useless stuff, you know, little trinklets here and there, buying people lunches, movies, food, and like random girl stuff. I do save money, it's just, all the money I save is now being used for my tuition. --___--" That's just wonderful. I need more scholarship money now. I wonder if I can scramble a hundred here and there? I mean, it may not seem like a lot but a hundred dollars can get me a couple new T's and a pair of good jeans. Maybe I'll swap those T's for a summer dress or a tote instead. *DAYDREAM*

It's 9:16AM right now. What to do?! I'll just wait out the 45 minutes. I'm sure it'll end soon. In the meantime, I shall just blog.
---
FAVOURITE QUOTES

If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.
-Anonymous

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything.
-Katharine Hepburn

In the absence of love, there is nothing worth fighting for.
-Elijah Wood

I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.
-Leo Rosten

Charles "Chick" Chapple: I've never told anyone this before, but I'm afraid of flying. So it would be very embarrasing to die now.
Rockhound: You think that's bad? I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds.
Charles "Chick" Chapple: Boy, that's bad.
-Armageddon

Grace: I understand that you are handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you.
-Armageddon

Dan Truman: Are they physically able to survive the trip?
Dr. Banks: Personally, I don't see how they survived the tests.
-Armageddon

Dylan: And that's called "kickin' your ass".
-Charle's Angels

Vivian Wood: Never send a man to do a woman's job.
-Charle's Angels

Agent Smith: We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.
Neo: Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about I give you the finger *sticks up middle finger* and you give me my phone call.
-The Matrix

Morpheus: I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it.
-The Matrix

Oracle: You're cuter than I thought. I can see why she likes you.
Neo: Who?
Oracle: Not too bright, though.
-The Matrix

Neo: What are you doing?
Trinity: I'm going with you.
Neo: No, I believe you're not.
Trinity: No? Let me tell you what I believe. I believe that Morpheus means more to me than he does to you. I believe if you are really serious about rescuing him, you are going to need my help. And since I am the ranking officer on this ship, if you don't like it... I believe you can go to hell. Because you're not going anywhere else. Tank, load us up.
-The Matrix

Jack: You jump, I jump, remember?
-Titanic

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr.Seuss

Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So... get on your way.
-Dr.Seuss

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself,
any direction you choose.
-Dr.Seuss

I skate where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.
-Wayne Gretzky

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
-Edgar Watson Howe

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.
-Samuel Goldwyn

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
-Jonathan Winters

You would think that after IB exams I would have it a lot easier. Actually, I am having it a lot easier, but I still have so much shit on my mind. So... seeing as I'm always "bored" I might as well just finish all the trinklet tasks that I have so I can stop thinking about them.

Yesterday I watched an episode of CSI:New York and I was so creeped out and paranoid the entire night. I like checked all the windows and doors to make sure they were locked. Then I went as far as to closing all the blinds and drapes over the windows so no one can see in. Then I checked all the closets to make sure no one was hiding in there...

There's absolutely nothing to do... I'm like on facebook 24/7, only to realize that there really is no point since every face is in an actual book and not on facebook.

I BURNED MY SECOND DVD! LALALA. I'm so proud of myself. I love the feeling of independence.

So I spent about 2 hours transferring about 60 entries from wordpress back to blogger. See, when I moved from blogger to wordpress, wordpress had this button called "import" where you could just import all your entries from blogger to it. But blogger doesn't have this feature, so I literally had to copy and paste all my posts, and I had to correct the date on all the entries. TWO HOURS! TWO DAMN HOURS! Then it took an extra two hours to find some inspiration and make a layout. I know I can make something better than this, but I'm too tired. It's really exhausting. I couldn't change the time on all the entries, so all the entries are set at "12:00 AM". Spooky, eh?

After like a week of wordpress, I realized that it wasn't for me. I mean, I'm more of a blogger person. The only reason why I moved to wordpress was because I couldn't change the layout and therefore I wouldn't fuss about it all the time. But it turned how that the less control I had over my layout the more I wanted to find ways to change it... and yeah... I'm back at blogger. I guess you don't know what's best for you until you see everything that's out there. I remember the bear story that my mom told me when I was a kid. HAHA. I'll tell it some other time.

I BURNED MY FIRST DVD YESTERDAY! HAHA. I'm so happy. I didn't figure out all the rmvb stuff... but I will soon.
---
We live and we learn to take one step at a time. There's no need to rush, it's like learning to fly or falling in love. It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen that we find the reasons why one step at a time.

So after watching the drama MAIDENS' VOWS, I think my perspective on relationship and love changed drastically. I still think true love exists, so all you people other there, don't start pointing fingers at me. But I don't think that the person you'll spend the rest of your life with will be your true love. Like, your true love will be out there, but maybe your chances of meeting the person will be slim to nothing, so you'll just have to settle for second best. Maybe third best? Fourth best? I guess that's realistic, right? I mean, everyone wants to give love and be loved. You can't wait for this "true love" forever... so you'll just have to settle for whatever is best. Sometimes you'll meet those like "fated love" things, you know... where you always bump into them, and you guys like the SAME things, and your grandpa's uncle's aunt's cousin's second-once removed son's friend is like his best friend. You know... those sort of coincidences... it's a sign that "he's the one" or he's "one of the best" for you. See, when it comes to "true love" there's no competition, but when it comes to like those "second best, third best" things, then you have to know how to play your cards right. If you play the right cards at the right time, you guys can end up forever, you know, happily ever after, well, until, one of you guys meet your "true love". However, if you play the wrong cards, then it's game over. HAHA. Do you think it's weird if I never want get married? Like marriage is just... a legal binding of two people? It doesn't strengthen our love or anything. If anything, it causes more trouble because when you guys get a divorce, you have to spend all this money on lawyers and stuff... What's wrong with just living with a guy and never getting married? HMM... JUST A THOUGHT. Don't kill me. HAHA, if my parents found out I was even considering this, my parents would like disown me. Whatever, just a thought.
---
Love is when you've given someone the power to completely destroy you, but you trust them not to.

Things I still have to do:
1. vacation planning
2. G
3. piano preparation
4. pick up summer school form, return blue book, Drooker
5. e-mail DECA stuff... which I haven't done...
6. EXERCISE
7. take lots of pictures
8. pick courses and see campus with parents

There's still so much shit to do even when school's over. Oh well, that's life, isn't it? I finished watching Maidens' Vows. The drama is good... but there were a lot of corny/cheesy scenes that needed to be cut out. Shivers ran up and down my spine as I horrifyingly watched the two ugly couples exchange overly-used pick-up lines. Ew. I think Sammul Chan is so hot.

He's in the drama too. He's so so so so hot. But he's like 30 now. HA! Who cares? Age shouldn't be a factor when it comes to true love. HAHAHA.

I'm going to finish that Korean drama THE DEVIL. I mean, I need closure on that drama... I always finish what I watch, just like I finish what I start. I'm a good girl.

My lips are even more swollen then yesterday. I really hope it's nothing serious. I mean, it doesn't itch, so it's not a bite. And it's not like there's a canker inside my mouth or anything...

I think the scary thing is when you don't know what it is... I'm going to the doctor's today. I hope it's not like cancer or some bug has laid eggs inside my lip. Seriously, I'm shitting in my pants over this. I guess this is what I get from partying too much after IB exams. *SIGH

I looked up some stuff on the internet to see what it could possibly be and it said "herpes". I'm scared now because I was sharing drinks with all these people... damn it. I'm never sharing drinks again. Ever.

My upper lip is so swollen, I look so nasty right now. Actually, I look sort of funny, but that's besides the point. SOORRRY SHERRY, I really wanted to come to your lunch/birthday celebration but I didn't want to go out with fish lips. And it's not like my ENTIRE lip is swollen, it's just one side, so like... I look like one of Picasso's messed up paintings.

Yesterday was really weird. I don't know what to say to it. Maybe it's best to just not say anything at all. I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO GO OUT!!! But no, you never listen to me. That's the thing, no one takes me seriously. They think that everything I say is just "fluff". Sheesh. Whatever.

I'm waiting for my face to return back to normal. It looks ugly. Ew. If I went outside, I'd scare the little kids...

I think I just make my life so much more complicated than it needs to be. Like this whole Sherry present thing is so complicated. Thank goodness for the existence of Mark. For once, I am grateful that he's alive and kicking to help me through this difficult social/financial crisis.

Today Julie, Steven, Yibo, Joyce and I went out to eat and sing K. I found it a little awkward as they were not my usual cup of tea, but I still had fun. I mean, I haven't gone karaoke-ing in a long time. Tomorrow, hopefully, is the last DECA meeting that I'll ever attend. I don't ever want to hear the word "DECA" for the rest of my life.

It's almost the end of the year, I think it's best to just take things easy. I think I've been really lenient on my budget. I mean, I don't even work now but I'm flinging out 100s of dollars for parties and alcohol. HA! And university is coming my way... Eek. I promise I won't do anything else after this week. I'll spend all I want this week but next week is like... back to productive and careful financial budgeting. I'm such a responsible girl. I'm so proud of myself sometimes. I think I have matured. But I REALLY REALLY REALLY want this Mashi Maro teddy bear. DAMN IT. Oh well, I have to make sacrifices? Oh, the beauty of opportunity costs... why must I always have to give up something to gain something else? Why can't I have everything?

Now if only I could get a job again... then maybe this won't be so hard.
---
We all hate being late. We all hate other people being late. As kids, we were punished if we were late for our curfew. As students, we were punished if we handed in late assignments. And as we grow up, we realize how much greater the consequences are if things are not on time, out of time, or given too much time. The one notorious one-liner, "Time doesn't wait for us" is probably the most inconvenient truth of all cliche phrases. So when given the chance to prove yourself, take it. When given the chance to walk away, leave it. And when given happiness even at all costs, cherish it. Because once it's gone, don't expect it to come back, and if it does, it won't ever be the same again. Just like you can't score a perfect on a late assignment, you can't get the same past in the future. The 12 o'clock train leaves at 12. If you come at 12:01, it's gone. What's gone is gone. Live with it and stop trying to run after the train. It's not going to stop for you.
---
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then say the opposite.

PROM
Let's just skip the morning Hell of the day and move onto the actual event. Prom was fun. I can't say it wasn't fun or anything, but I don't think it lived up to my expectations. There was all this hype about prom since grade 9. Since you were a kid, you watch TV and dramas and everyone all waits for "the one and only" prom. They make it seem like the biggest event in highschool IS prom. It was good, don't get me wrong, but I think it could've been better. For starters, the food needed like a complete new menu. The salad at sort of like... boring. The pasta was okay. I think my favourite was the pasta. The third dish was sort of weird. I don't really know what to say about it. I mean, you don't stuff chicken breast. You don't stuff chicken breasts because it's like really hard there already and if you stuff it it's just more hard... okay, that sounded really wrong. But you know what I mean, right? And the vegetables were boring and the potatoes were boring... they didn't even have ketchup. HAHA. Maybe I should've asked for it.

I thought the music wasn't bad but they could've played some more recent mainstream stuff and not like old school music. Dancing was cool... if only the teachers weren't sort of watching... I think I would've been more comfortable. I think with any kind of adult supervision around, I feel uneasy with just "letting myself go".

My dress was too long. HAHA. That's a fault on my part. I shouldn't have worn make up, because I rubbed my eyes because my contacts were dry, and all the eye makeup was smudged by the end of the night. And maybe I should've worn better shoes. I took them off near the end of prom and left them at my table (21). Then when I came back to look for them, I only found one. And I thought I had lost the other shoe. HAHA. But thank God, I found it later. Phew. Mark's flower thing kept on falling off the entire night and it made me feel so incompetent as a partner to put on the flower. HAHA. I had to put it on like four times before he just took it off when he danced.

AFTER-PROM PARTY
Julie was suppose to be at my house at 9:30 but she came at like 11? HAHA. The trunk was PACKED. We had to play tetrus to try to fit everything into the trunk and I had to carry Moo and my doggy bag and my pillow. But I got the front seat beside Julie, so I had lots of room. =). Before we even got off my street, Julie's car started having problems. First she saw these red lights on her dashboard and she was like, "Why are these turned on?" But as a bunch of girls, we were just like, "Whatever". Then Julie tried to brake but it didn't work. Julie's car has another brake on the passenger seat too, so she thought I had my feet under the brake, and she kept on telling me to let go. And I was like, "YO SERIOUSLY! I'M NOT PLAYING WITH THE BRAKES!" And we all freaked out, and I tried to brake on my side and Julie pulled the emergency brake and like everyone flew forward. Julie turned off the engine and turned it back on again and the lights were gone and the brake were working fine. However, we still thought it was important to see if everything was okay, so Sonia called her dad and I called my dad and they like both said the same thing. "If the lights are gone and the brakes are working fine, then it should be okay. But you should still go check it out because it could be potentially dangerous." So we went to the nearest Canadian Tires and the man there had a good laugh over 5 Asian girls trying to explain the odd situation. And he laughed like a hyena when he found out that Julie had training brakes on the other side of the seat. It would cost like 80 bucks for a check up that took an hour and we didn't exactly want to like waste more time. And he told us that the chances of anything happening are slim, so we decided to just take a chance and just go for it. I mean, worst comes to worst, we call a tow truck. Right?

The ride was long but maybe it was because I was SO tired. We got there okay, then the people that took the Greyhound got there, then the people that came with Mark's dad got there last. We were so worried that something happened to them because we couldn't get through to them on the phone, but it just turned out that they stopped at Wendy's for lunch. =_='

The first day there we didn't do much. We sort of just settled down. We had instant noodles and pasta. Afterwards, we drank and took it easy. It was cool. It would've been more fun if Jessica and them actually let us drink. Four bottles isn't bad though... I think that's like a safe amount. It's enough to buzz you but not enough to completely take you down. I honestly don't think I was drunk. Because I remember quite a bit of the stuff that happened that night. Like everyone has a different side effect when they drink, and mine is just forgetting some stuff. Just because I forget some stuff doesn't really mean I'm drunk. Besides, I could do math and I didn't walk into walls. HAHA. I wasn't drunk.

The second day I woke up at 6. We went to the "beach". We thought it was a beach but it turned out to be like a lake or something. We would've gone there earlier if it weren't for the toilet difficulties. HAHA. I don't remember what we ate for breakfast... bread? I know for lunch we had like a sandwich sort of thing. Then for dinner we went out and came back at like 8-ish? We drank but there wasn't enough to go around. Whatever. Then we played the "I Never" and "Truth or Dare" game. HAHA, Mark had to wear a dress. That is the funniest thing EVER! And Sonia later said her dress is "stretched". HAHA. That's so fucking hilarious. Then Julie had to wear Mark's clothing and she said that Mark didn't have a zipper on it. And I lifted up his shirt to see his jeans and I just touched the flap of where the zipper is suppose to be, and everyone was like totally shocked. Yeah, I shouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have done that if I was completely sober. But honestly, I didn't touch his crotch. I didn't feel anything hard. LMAO.

The last day, I woke up at like 8 and cleaned the kitchen with Mark's help. Then later Sonia woke up and she went into the kitchen and she was like, "Yo the kitchen is such a mess." And I was like totally offended. But I didn't say anything because, well, she was right, the kitchen wasn't exactly clean but it was just CLEANER than before. Yeah... nothing really happened. We just cleaned up and left. The ride home felt so much faster than the ride there.

I just wish there was more alcohol and more time to hang. I wanted to play twister but never got the chance to. Too bad, so sad.

Interesting Convos
Julie: We're going to go out to get a plunger.
Stephanie: Why?
Julie: Because it's clogged.
Stephanie: With poo or pee?
Julie: With Hair. Sonia's hair.
Stephanie: She washes her hair in the toilet...?
Julie: ... Anyways, I'm going to go get the plunger.

Sherry: Since you brought it up that we never talk, I think we should talk more now.
Stephanie: Oh, okay.
Sherry: ...
Stephanie: ...
Sherry: ...
Stephanie: I think this is why we never talk...

Stephanie: I know this sounds strange but do you remember me at all?
Alex: From elementary school?
Stephanie: YEAH!!!
Alex: OH MY GOD! Yeah!! I saw you in the halls in grade 9 and I wanted to say hi but I was afraid you didn't remember me.
Stephanie: SAME! Except, I didn't know you went to Bayview until like last year.
Then we like spazzed about elementary school memories.

Joey: Someone's going to wake up with no armpit hair.
Alex: Someone's going to wake up with no eyebrows.
Joey: I can draw mine on, you can't.
Alex: Do you want to die?
Joey: HAHA, not before you.
THEY ARE SO CUTE.

Fred: I want to go home...
Everyone: AWWWWWW

Stephanie: What are you doing?
Jinwoo: I'm going to toast the bread.
Stephanie: In the oven? Why don't you use the toaster? It's easier.
Jinwoo: It tastes better if it's toasted in the oven.
Stephanie: Oh...

Stephanie: *runs into the boys' room from the girls' room* OH MY GOD, there's a huge bug in the girls' room!
Mark: Yeah. *goes back to the girls' room*
Everyone: Oh my God! Ugh...
Stephanie: It's like THIS big. *uses fingers to show the size*
Everyone: Oh my God.
Mark: *comes back from the girls' room* Stephanie, it's not a bug. It's just a clump of hair.
Stephanie: Oh... ew... that's gross too.

TODAY
I went with Julie to get her Visa. There was a man there that gave me this bizarre look when he overheard me asking Julie what's the difference between a passport and a visa. Okay, it's not my fault I don't know. And he acted like such a know-it-all and he told us that we had to pay when we hand in the forms and stuff, but we totally didn't have to. We pay only when we pick up the stuff. AH HA! LOSER!

Then we walked like 5 blocks to find a normal/non-shady restaurant. Yeah, it was really ghetto down there. Then we took the subway back but we missed our stop and we had to take the subway back the other way. HAHA. We had the dumbest conversation on the subway back.

We sat in these seats which was in front of those long poles that people use to hold onto. There was like a biggest large baggage/suitcase in front of the pole...
Julie: Yo, that suitcase is bothering me.
Stephanie: Why?
Julie: Does it belong to anyone? Why is it just sitting there...?
Stephanie: I saw some lady put it there and she like went to sit down... I think.
Julie: I'm scared.
Stephanie: Aren't you being a little paranoid?
Julie: What if it's like...
Stephanie: You think there's like a bomb in it?
Julie: Yeah...
Stephanie: Yo, there's still like a tag on the suitcase. I think it was just bought. Does that worry you more?
Julie: Yeah... what if she like just bought it to like... put the bomb in it?
Stephanie: ...
Julie: Do you remember what the girl looked like?
Stephanie: She wasn't white. She was like... Asian, maybe brown.
Julie: BROWN?!? SHE WAS BROWN?!?!
Stephanie: Yeah... I think so... maybe like Asian... you know... like Malaysian or from Singapore?
Julie: Uhhh... Aren't you scared?
Stephanie: We just die. We're not even a meter away from it, if it does explode, we'll just be shredded into pieces. We won't feel any pain or anything.
Julie: I'm too young to die.
*Some lady comes and takes the suitcase and walks off the subway*
Us: Yeah...

I like this non-school life right now. I really do.

Finally home from Julie's prom-after party. It was pretty good. Although we didn't do very much, I still had fun drinking and hanging out with my friends.

I don't exactly feel like going out today, I'm so tired. Whatever. Alcohol is not the be-all and end-all of the world, there are more important things to me... like sleep!

LALA, I changed my layout again. Yeah, it's getting annoying. To be honest with you, I really like this layout but... I think... it's a little plain. Hmm, maybe it's a little plain jane that I need.

I'm going to just take it easy because I still have to finish a shit load of stuff before I head off to university. I'm so tired.
---
Some people say that giving up is the easy way out when things get too hard. I didn't realize how hard giving up is until I tried. Letting go of something sometimes takes so much more strength and courage than you'll realize because that thing has suddenly become your comfort and security blanket. I still remember when I was 5 and I carried my secuirty blanket everywhere I went. It took me about 2-3 years before I finally could let go of it. It was hard, I had nothing to cling onto when I got scared and nothing to wrap around me when I was cold. My mother eventually just hid it somewhere so I could "grow up". Eventually, I became friends with other classmates and learned that I didn't really miss my blanket anymore. I know, I didn't have friends until I was 8, that's pretty sad. HAHA. Point is, I know I have to grow up because that's what time is forcing me to do. And though I love where I am right now, I know I can't stay here forever. Of course, tears and scratches are inevitable in this stupid process of "letting go" and "moving on". But hey, that's what tissues and bandages are for, right?

Still at Julie's house doing absolutely nothing. Yesterday was pretty fun, the new smirnoff alcohol is okay for me. It still doesn't beat whiskey but whatever, it's still liquor, it's good enough for me.

I don't exactly remember everything that happened yesterday, but I'm sure I wasn't drunk at all. Oh well, what are these parties for anyways? You're not suppose to remember everything, that's the fun, right?

I hope today we get to go to the beach. That's probably one of the reasons why I tried so hard to come to the party, I mean, if it weren't for the beach, what's the point of sitting in a car for 1.5 hours to come to some country land? HAHA, just kidding. I had fun hanging with my friends and I got to meet up with Alex Stor again, which was nice.

LALA. I'm bored. I'm glad I brought Moo with me.
---
We all make mistakes, we all have regrets. We do things that we wish we didn't do or didn't say. Because of that we all need to learn to forgive. Only that way can we move on and feel satisfied with what we have. Grudges are tiring, we can only hold them for so long before we give into the undeniable bond of humanity. But there are certain things that aren't forgivable. And when that happens, we choose to forget. And when it's unforgivable and unforgettable, you just have to avoid it all together.
---
Her loss is our gain.

Yesterday was pretty hectic. All the prom preparations and shit took up a lot of time. I have mixed feelings about the night, I don't know if prom lived up to my expectations or not. It's hard to say at the moment.

Right now, I'm at Julie's house in Peterborough. It's REALLY REALLY hot. I want to go to the beach but everyone seems a little reluctant to go. Oh well, Julie's basement is really nice, at least I can chill there.

Okay so everything to do with prom is slowly coming to a finish... except for prom itself. I'm so bored right now. I don't know what to do with myself.

I have nothing interesting to tell discuss. Hmmm, I'm watching this new drama called LIFE ART and nothing happens. Literally, nothing happens. I'm just like, why did the director film this drama? It's like... I can't even describe it because nothing happens.

I'm taking piano exams over the summer. Yeah, my summer sucks already. I can't wait until I graduate university, which is not for another 10 years. I wonder how different my life will be and if I'll still remember all my friends from highschool?

SIGH* I still need to pick up my yearbook. I need to take lots of pictures. I need to watch, breathe, and live this very moment.

I have this led pencil and I lent it to someone who lost the eraser to it. Now that the eraser is gone, led constantly falls out of the pencil and I can only put one piece of led in there at a time.

Should I keep the pencil or throw it out?

That's about all my brain can handle at the moment.

SIGH* I really can't wait until I get my ass into university. It almost feels like once I do that, everything will be over. All this stress I'm going through will all be over.
---
I feel like I'm going around in circles. I don't know what I want, I don't know what I need, but I don't mind. I really don't mind going around in circles, I just wish I wasn't going around in circles by myself. But then again, it wouldn't make sense if I went around in circles with you because if we were together, we wouldn't be going around in circles in the first place.